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This online serial dater, otherwise known as the "Online Dating Sites Spinster" sheds some light on her (mis)adventures in the online dating sites underworld, where by being a member of many free and paid dating sites ensures tons of weekly, whacky adventures. The Spinster knows the ups and downs of first dates with strange men, meeting them in unusual and occasionaly seedy joints. Stay tuned to this page if you're looking for some insight into self defence, awesome excuses or you're just one of our many voyeurs.

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If you have experiences with online dating sites whether free or not, we'd love to hear all about them. We encourage both men and women to get out there and date some members of the opposite sex or the same sex, all's good as long as you have a great story to share! Who knows, this could be the place where you get discovered!

Stories from an Online Serial Dater
Posted on December 10th, 2008

I don’t date online by choice. It was not my choice to still be in search of Mr. Right at the ripe old age of 37. If you’re thinking “Well isn’t 40 the new 30?” And if you follow this ludicrous statement with the ever patronizing “”When it’s your time you’ll meet the one”, and finish it up with ever ignorant statement “You know, you’ll meet someone when you’re not looking”, well I say to you -go to hell, in more polite terms of course.

And to all those happily or otherwise married people with children who have the nerve to say to me- ‘”I wish I were single, you can do whatever you want when you want”, trust me- I’d rather be in your shoes. Try living a weekend in my life, most Saturday nights spent alone in my bed watching a DVD. Try buying batteries in bulk from Ikea, not for the kids’ toys but for unmentionable usage, or cooking for one every day of the week, every week of the year. The life of a 30-something single woman is not the party you imagine it to be. We’re in a strange life stage, too old to hang out at the bars, too young to join a bridge club. We feel we’re too young to date men in their 40s and 50s but the single men in our age bracket are seeking the company of women in their 20’s. If they are recently divorced, most are not interested in settling down so quickly. If the divorced men are indeed looking to get re-attached in the romantic sense, we have to deal with the kids and the angry ex-wife and whatever other heavy emotional baggage they bring from their failed marriage. And most of the time it’s not worth the effort.

Do I sound angry? I would rather define my tone as incredibly frustrated. What’s the magic solution? I’m well-groomed, and have spent a small fortune on waxing, plucking, lasering over the years. I feel like a woman in her 20’s when I look in the mirror, given that I’ve aged quite well, in mine and other people’s opinion. I’ve been described by many as incredibly smart & attractive, with a wicked sense of humour and a warm and compassionate personality. So why am I still single? Well I really couldn’t tell you, it’s quite the mystery in my opinion. But I really don’t want to be heading into my middle-age still cooking for one, so I date, and then I date some more. But in this day and age, when most people in my age group are married, and those that aren’t are pretty much in the same situation, there aren’t too many places to meet men of acceptable quality. So I date online, on both paid and free dating sites. I hate it, but I have no choice. My eggs are drying up, my hair is going gray, and that famous clock is ticking. I’d rather meet men in a more personal venue, where I am judged on my personality and conversation ability instead of my profile photo and ability to bulls—. I also source out other means of meeting men, and have joined sports leagues and do some charity work, but while this had filled many hours of my romantically empty life, it has not filled the void.

I’ve been on countless dates over the years, from both paid and free dating sites. Most with losers, some with non-losers, and a few were actually nice guys. I still persevere, some days begrudgingly, other days with faith in the belief that my better half does in fact exist. When I think back on the dates I’ve been on, I prefer to laugh than to cry, although I can’t say it’s always easy to stop the flow of tears when I take an honest & brutal look at the selection of men out there.

I hope when I share my dating tales and horror stories with you that you’ll laugh too. And I wish I could say I was making them up. These are real-life stories, stemming from real-life behaviour and real-life men. Honest to g-d.

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“Large Popcorn please”, she ordered, “with real butter”. As the barely pubescent, 1st generation Canadian girl behind the counter obliged her with minimum eye contact, her efforts were interrupted with another request from the just-hit middle aged woman- “can you layer the butter throughout the bag so it’s even”, she asked- almost apologetically. When this request elicited nothing but a nod, she felt an explanation was warranted to justify the request, not only for the extra labour but also for the extra caloric intake, ”it’s my dinner”, she continued, “I didn’t have a chance to eat tonight.” As she counted out $4.00 in change, and sheepishly gathered her apparently illicit meal, as though she had something to be very embarrassed about, and entered the not-yet-darkened movie theater, I couldn’t help but wonder if that was going to be me in 10 years. Graying hair, no make-up ( at least to the naked eye), out alone on a Saturday night wearing sensible flat shoes which completed an entirely forgettable outfit consisting of baggy clothing in muted colours, that screamed “I QUIT!!”.

You might be asking at this point, what I was doing at the moment this quietly loud emotional transaction was taking place. And what exactly was the difference between me and this stranger before me, towards whom I felt at once a sense of dread and one of kinship. Well, to be honest, aside from a change in our wardrobe colour scheme and about 10 years, not much. Not much at all. I too was alone on a Saturday night- standing in line to purchase my own large bag of popcorn- having decided not to take up any of the unsuitable suitors I had been in touch with from the many free online dating sites to which I subscribe. And I had even eaten my dinner. And were it not for the fact that the film we were about to see was one involving the holocaust and the senseless murders of millions of innocent people, I might have turned round, forfeited my $7.00 and walked the ˝ block back to my drafty shared house and wept in one of the many decorative pillows which I used in an attempt to camouflage the fact that my mattress rests on the floor. However, I thought that perhaps the film would put things in perspective.

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